I’m Gonna Ball Out With My Wife
… When I Get Outta Prison
10/9/2018 12:20 AM PDT
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino is planning on a life of luxury when he gets home from prison … Exhibit A — his wedding registry.
The Situation is marrying college sweetheart Lauren Pesce, November 1 (he has 60 days to turn himself in) and they’re asking friends and family to spare no expense when it comes to wedding gifts.
Only the best for Mike when he’s done with his 8-month sentence for tax evasion … the Sorrentinos want a $550 blender, $500 juicer, $380 dutch oven, $375 knife set and $180 pasta press … ’cause he’ll be tired of those cheap prison meals by the time he’s a free man again.
The Sitch is probably dreading his jail cot … but there’s light at the end of the tunnel, because he and Lauren are asking for a $673 down comforter and $379 ivory sheepskin rug. Super comfy.
No more mopping floors when he gets home either … they want a $300 robot to mop and a $400 robot to vacuum.
And, if you splurge on the $150 flatware sets (they want 3), don’t expect the newlyweds to use any of it to prepare an avocado … no, they need a special tool for those pesky fruits.